“Christmas is just two months away!” is a post I read on a friend’s Facebook that started to focus my thinking on what the next two months hold for my team, my ministry and my family in Peru. I thought, “Ha! the Christmas season for me will be about five days long, from the time we land in Arkansas until Christmas and there are a ton of things to do, people to say goodbye to and a thousand emotions we’ll feel between now and then.”
As we hand over ministry and think about the logistics of moving, my thoughts fly backward over the last two years and forward over the next two months, then five months in the States, then on to Ecuador. And in both directions, doubts creep in. Did I do enough? What should I have done differently? Was I enough for the task God gave me? Could I have been more ________? Can I get everything done while we’re in the States and still connect with friends and family and rest and recharge and…and…and? What did I not do as a mom in Peru that I want to provide for my girls in the States? In Ecuador? And on and on…
This morning I was reading a post from A Life Overseas, a blog about living cross culturally from the perspective of missionaries, aid workers and others. While reading, the Lord reassured me through words of a woman I’ve never met, who is living and ministering in Bolivia.
I finished the post in tears.
Confident that I am enough because God has called me, not because of my own ability.
Reminded to see the beauty in each place that God leads us. That by accepting change instead of trying to fight it or control it (or beat it’s effects to death with an army of lists), I acknowledge that God is in control (and not me).
Challenged to not focus so much on the doing as the being with and loving the people around me while we’re still together.
I’m so grateful for that encouraging word this morning.
I recommitted the next two months to the Lord and to leave any human regrets in His hands and reoriented my thoughts and heart to God’s purposes for the next two months and beyond.
Please pray for my family, my team and for me as the next two months are huge. Pray for the goodbyes, hellos and all the activity that makes them possible.